he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
God, I missed his penis.
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