I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
