He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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