I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize