and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
