I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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