Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
