your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
