Four minutes until I can fart!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
