your parents love me but you hate me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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