garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i out mim tonsoeep
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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