According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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