we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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