I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
