I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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