WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
