She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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