Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
