What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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