dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Who died my cat blue again?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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