I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
