God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
