wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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