the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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