I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
