I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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