Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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