If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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