do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
