so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
