half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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