It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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