anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
