How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
