Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
