youre lurking in front of me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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