She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every concussion has its silver lining
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize