I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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