I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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