I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
