Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
