No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
