so explain again why im purple
no
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
