How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
