fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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