He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
