i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
