is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
