I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
