Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Fuck appropriateness.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
