This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
