we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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