i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
