He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
