i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
