they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
