you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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