How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
