I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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