So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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