i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
