can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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