You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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