All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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