My sheets look like a crime scene.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
