I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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