We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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